


Monster

by Mia_Vaan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avenger Loki (Marvel), F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Loki (Marvel) Gets a Hug, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Loki deserved better, Loki has friends now, Loki-centric, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Time Travel, endgame spoilers, loki lives, the character death is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia_Vaan/pseuds/Mia_Vaan
Summary: Spoilers for Endgame.Thor threw Loki into the Bifrost to save him from Thanos, and now the God of Mischief must work together with Earth's Mightiest Heroes to defeat the Mad Titan before he wipes out half the universe.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Infinity War and Endgame belongs to Marvel and Disney. If they belonged to me, this is how things would've gone for Loki. 
> 
> Seriously, I loved these films, and what they did with Loki was my only gripe. So I've fixed it. Have the story of Avengers 3 & 4 with extra Loki. 
> 
> Title and lyrics from "Monster", a song that comes from Frozen on Broadway. Because it fits Loki so damn well.

It’s finally come, come to knock down my door,

I can’t hide this time like I hid before

– “Monster”, _Frozen on Broadway_

\---

“Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.”

From most people’s perspective, it would appear so. But Loki always made it a point to be as far from being “most people” as he could get.

His knowledge of Thanos had allowed him to form a plan on the spot, the moment the _Sanctuary_ had appeared alongside the _Statesman_. Thanos always killed half a world and left the other alive, so Loki had made certain that the half he would spare were the ones who couldn’t fight back; mostly children, along with their families. The Valkyrie, Korg and his scissor friend had gotten them to safety in escape pods.

The half that were left were the ones who could fight. It allowed them a chance – even if it had been a slim chance.

So many dead. But the innocents were safe, and Loki still had an ace up his sleeve.

“Well, for one thing: I’m not Asgardian. And for another: We have a Hulk.”

And when he repeated the words Stark had threatened him with many years ago, the beast in question tackled Thanos aside. The Titan was, for once, taken completely off-guard, for Banner had been knocked out early on in the battle before he’d even had the chance to transform.

Loki dropped the Tesseract and dived, grabbing Thor and rolling him to safety.

“I’m sorry, Brother,” Loki whispered in his ear. “I’m sorry…”

“You should’ve…left it…” Thor managed to say.

“It would have survived the blast.” Because it was an Infinity Stone, and they could only destroy each other. “And it would have been floating in space for anyone to take. I didn’t realize he would make a play for them…” But maybe he should have done. Hela hadn’t been the only threat being held back by Odin. Their father was probably the only being in the universe strong enough to stand against Thanos.

Not the only one, he hoped, as he watched the Hulk pound into the Mad Titan with furious rage.

It was his last hope.

It dissolved when Thanos left the Hulk withering in pain on the floor.

“That was my last trick.” The time had come. Thanos was going to kill him.

Thor must have seen the fear on his face. Already he could see better with one eye. “He was the one who gave you the army. The one who sent you to Earth.”

It would have been so easy to tell Thor everything, right after the failed invasion; explain what Thanos had done, that he’d been forced. That the Mind Stone had controlled him as much as it had controlled Barton. But back then, his pride hadn’t let him.

He knew it was time for that pride to drop.

“It was not willingly.”

Something in Thor’s gaze shifted. There was surprise, and then there was resolve. He struggled to his feet, and Loki helped him stand. Somewhere close by, an injured Heimdall gripped his sword and began to chant.

“He means to kill you for your failure.”

Loki didn’t reply, for it wasn’t a question. It was a statement of fact.

“I won’t leave you,” was all he said.

Heimdall used all the strength he had left to summon dark energy, the same that had sent Thor to Earth all those years ago. The Bifrost flickered to life and surrounded the Hulk.

Thor smiled at his brother. “I hope that you are right, that the sun will shine on us again.” He gripped Loki’s arms. “I came to save you, back then, and I failed. This time I won’t.”

Loki realized what his brother was doing a second too late, and before he could stop it – before he could even cry out in protest – Thor picked him up and threw him into the Bifrost.

\---

They fell through a building.

Loki was briefly amused when he realized that the building they had wrecked upon landing was the home of that second-rate sorcerer, but it didn’t last long. He stared up at the sky through the hole in the ceiling, eyes wide with the realization of what Thor had done.

He wanted to scream. Thor had saved him, but not without a cost – that cost being his own life. He wanted to hate his brother for his sentimental stupidity, but couldn’t. The grief that rushed up on him was almost crippling.

But there was no time for that. A pair of sorcerers stood above him, ready for a fight. Pushing back his grief, Loki held up his hands to show the two men that he meant them no harm, before rolling off the Hulk when he realized that he was no longer the Hulk, but Banner.

“Thanos is coming,” Bruce muttered, over and over, and the sorcerers exchanged confused glances.

Convincing them not to drop him into an endless vortex was easier than he thought it would be, since Bruce vouched for him. The tentative friendship they’d struck up on the _Statesman_ had paid off, and Loki was glad that the mortal scientist was the forgiving type.

Stark, he knew, _wasn’t_ the forgiving type, and would be harder to convince.

Loki planned to hang back out of sight when the second-rate made a portal (he made a note to steal one of those rings in the near future when Thanos wasn’t an immediate threat) to Stark and his woman, and continued to when Bruce reunited with him. But Stark saw him, and immediately there was a glove on his hand ready to fire.

Bruce got in the way. “Hey, hey, hey! It’s OK! He’s on our side this time.”

The man of iron’s gaze flickered between them, until his trust in Banner won out over his distrust of the Norse God. He lowered his arm. “You better have a good explanation for this, Bruce.”

The woman by his side suddenly strode forwards, and before Loki realized that she was heading straight for him, she reached him and delivered a clean slap across his face. “That’s for throwing my fiancé off a building!”

Tough and full of fire. And exactly the kind of woman who could keep Tony Stark in check. Loki grinned and turned to Stark. “I like her.”

\---

“Tell me his name again.”

Bruce repeated the same story Loki had told the second-rate and his companion. Loki waited silently, though he stood apart from the sorcerers. He flinched when Bruce mentioned the invasion of New York, and Stark turned his gaze on him.

“He sent you?”

Loki nodded. “Yes. And he was not kind in his…persuasions.”

“Meaning?”

“What was it you said again, in that tower of yours?” he said. “There was no version where I came out on top. I _knew_ that. If I had really wanted to conquer your world, I would have stayed in the shadows. You would never have known I was even there until I won and the world was mine.”

There was no surprise in Stark’s eyes. It was as if he’d merely confirmed something the mortal had suspected for years. “You were playing to lose. Would’ve been nice to, you know, _tell_ us that. Instead of getting people killed.”

“The Mind Stone wouldn’t let me. Its control was only broken when the beast tossed me around like a rag doll.”

Banner’s eyebrows rose. “Huh. Guess the Hulk’s good for something.”

The discussion continued, and Loki was content to listen until Thor was mentioned. He flinched again, because what Bruce said was true.

Thor was gone. There was no way Thanos would have left him alive, after what he did. The Mad Titan didn’t take defiance lightly.

Loki kept his grief in check. There would be time for that when Thanos was dead.

The status of the heroes on Earth was…interesting. The Avengers were no more, scattered and divided over something called the Sokovia Accords. Stark had created two robots, one of which had tried to destroy the world while the other had gone missing. Loki wished he’d been watching Earth more closely during his stint as Odin, because it all sounded highly entertaining.

Stark and the second-rate bickered (he preferred Stark out of the two, and he couldn’t believe that there was actually someone he found to be even more irritating than Stark), before finally the man agreed to call upon the Captain and the rest of the Avengers on the run.

That was when the screaming started.

\---

Thanos’s children had arrived.

They headed outside, and Loki held himself together at the sight of Ebony Maw. Of course, he’d been there on the _Statesman_ too, but that was when Loki had the Tesseract and its power had prevented Maw from gaining a foothold in his mind.

Now there was no Stone to protect him. He doubted the second-rate would give him the Time Stone.

“Hear me and rejoice! You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan. You may think this is suffering. No, it is salvation.”

Maw’s words repeated over and over as he addressed the fleeing humans beneath him, the same words he’d repeated on the ship, and Loki threw up his mental walls to protect his mind. He felt Maw attempting to gain access, like thousands of knives stabbing against his brain, but he refused to relent.

Bruce noticed his discomfort. “You OK?” Loki could only nod.

Things turned south quickly when Bruce found that he couldn’t change into the Hulk. Loki attempted to distract Maw away from the second-rate (he was annoying beyond belief, but he had the Time Stone and that took priority), but with his mind off limits, Maw didn’t feel like playing and simply tossed him aside.

He instead found himself fighting Cull Obsidian alongside Stark, and then they were joined by someone called Spider-Man.

Who took one look at Loki and immediately barrelled into him.

“Mr. Stark! It’s that guy who invaded New York six years ago! Or was it eight years ago?”

“Get off me you-” Loki was cut off when something shot out of the boy’s hands (because he was _definitely_ a boy, there was no ‘man’ about him), something sticky and white, and the boy used the same substance to stick Loki’s hands to the ground.

“Sorry, you’re a bad guy! That means you stay there! I have webs and I’m not afraid to use them!”

“Kid, no! Peter, he’s on our side!” Stark was still struggling with Cull and trying to divert his attention between the two.

“What?” The boy looked back at his…father? Loki didn’t know if Stark had a son, but the dynamic in front of him looked like one between a father and a son, not that he would have much experience given Odin’s spectacular parenting…

“Loki pulled a Darth Vader! He’s with us!”

“Oh shit!” He turned back to Loki. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Loki! Please don’t mind control me with your magic staff!”

After a brief struggle, Loki managed to call a dagger into his hand and used it to cut through the web. When his hands were free, he ripped off the web that covered his mouth. “It was a sceptre, and I don’t have it anymore.”

“Oh, good.” He jumped back to Stark and kicked Cull in the head. The brute lashed out and sent Stark flying.

He landed next to Loki, who didn’t waste any time in saying, “That’s a _child_.”

“He’s stronger than he looks. He knocked _you_ over, didn’t he?”

“He’s still a _child_.”

“You saying he can’t handle it?”

“I’m saying he _shouldn’t have to_.”

“Huh. Loki has standards. Who’d have thought.”

The unconscious second-rate sorcerer passed over them, and the boy gave chase. Loki and Stark dealt with Cull with help from the other more competent sorcerer, before Stark took off after the boy and the second-rate.

Loki eventually made his way back to Bruce, who was using Stark’s phone to contact the other Avengers.

“Hey Steve, I’m back. Yeah, we got trouble. And before Nat goes all murder spy,” Bruce met Loki’s gaze, “there’s someone with me you should know about.”

\---

It took only a single sentence out of Secretary Ross’s mouth for Loki to decide that he didn’t like him. At all.

He didn’t make his distaste known, however, until the other Avengers arrived and Ross ordered Stark’s friend – Rhodes? – to arrest them. Loki was sat in a corner while Bruce tended to the large cut on his forehead, curtesy of the spider boy, so the man hadn’t spotted him.

He was miles away, but that didn’t matter. With a flick of his wrist, Loki first made the man’s moustache disappear, and then followed that up by giving him rabbit ears. He waited until Ross noticed the changes, and right before he exploded with shock and anger, Loki cut off the connection and made sure they couldn’t be contacted again.

All eyes were on him immediately.

He only shrugged. “You’re welcome.” He turned to Bruce. “He’s really your woman’s father?”

“My _ex_ -girlfriend’s father,” said Bruce. His gaze flickered towards the Widow.

Right. Bruce had mentioned back on the _Statesman_ that something had developed between them. He thought it was strange, but didn’t voice that opinion.

When the call had cut off, the Avengers had stared at him warily. His words exchanged with Bruce got them to relax, but only slightly.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones who got ambushed,” said the Captain, his gaze fixed upon the cut being tended to.

Bruce, the traitor, decided to enlighten them. “Oh no. That was Spider-Man’s handiwork.”

The tension in the room dissolved, and the Avengers were trying hard not to laugh.

“You got beat up by a _kid_?” said the man that Loki didn’t recognize. He had goggles on his head and some large machine on his back.

Loki sighed and looked heavenward. “I made that man look like a fool in revenge for his slights against you, and _this_ is how you thank me, Bruce?”

“I’m just getting even. You tried to freak me out back on Sakaar.”

“You two are certainly chummy,” the Widow spoke up.

The scientist shrugged. “We spent two weeks on a cramped refugee ship in the middle of space. He really grows on you.” He started to put his medical supplies away. “All clean. It should heal up nicely.”

“Thank you.” Loki called upon his magic and created a small illusion over the cut. He’d rather not have to look at the embarrassing reminder.

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Oh sure, waste magic on covering a tiny little cut instead of saving your energy to fight an alien conqueror.”

Rhodes jerked his thumb in their direction. “Is anyone else getting weirded out by this?”

“It’s not the first time someone’s switched sides,” said the Captain. “Speaking of… Wanda?”

A young woman stepped out from behind the Widow, her eyes glowing red.

Loki immediately got to his feet. The energy signature that surrounded her was hauntingly familiar. “You’ve been touched by the Mind Stone.” It explained why he could sense it – until he realized it was in the room with them too, embedded into the forehead of…a humanoid creature he assumed was the second robot Stark had created.

The Captain looked apologetic. “I’m sorry, but we need to be certain this isn’t a trick.”

He realized what that meant too late, and before he could protest, strands of red magic left the woman’s hands and surrounded his head. Within moments she was inside his mind, prodding and poking, looking for the truth of his intentions. She wasn’t gentle in her intrusion, but that was due to lack of skill rather than intent to hurt him, unlike Maw who had _made_ his intrusions hurt.

The sensation brought back flashbacks of his time under Thanos’s thumb, and the horrible reminder sent him falling to his knees in pain and terror. His pride was gone and he wanted to _beg_ for her to stop, but he couldn’t even form the words.

“Stop, _stop_!” Bruce was by Loki’s side in an instant, preventing him from falling flat onto the floor completely.

And then Wanda recoiled with a cry of anguish, taking her magic with her.

Loki took in deep breaths and allowed Bruce’s help in keeping him upright. He saw Wanda bury her face into the chest of the android, and knew by her actions that she’d seen what Thanos had done. Part of him wanted to yell at her for intruding, but another part of him understood that the Avengers had no reason to trust him. That same part of him also noted that she didn’t deserve to witness what he’d been through, and yelling wouldn’t help either of them.

“He’s with us,” she said. “He has more reason than any of us to hate Thanos. He grieves for his brother, and…” Her gaze fell upon him, and the sympathy was almost overwhelming. “The things he did to you… How are you still _sane_ , after all that?”

“I wasn’t sane the first time I came here,” said Loki, as Bruce helped him to his feet.

The Captain and the Widow were staring right at him, and they both looked horrified. “Everything you did… Thanos made you do it?” said the former.

“Why didn’t you _tell_ us?” the latter asked, almost demanded.

Loki sighed. “The Mind Stone prevented me from speaking out. All I could do was fight it on the inside. An after… Pride is a deadly sin for a reason. I refused to admit that I was acting on anyone’s authority other than my own.”

“Maybe if you had admitted it,” said the Captain, “then we wouldn’t be in this mess now.”

So many mistakes, so little time to make up for them. Loki could only nod. They didn’t seem in that big of a hurry to place the blame entirely on him, so that was a relief.

The Avengers discussed their next move. He was relieved to hear that Barton wouldn’t be joining them (because that was a confrontation he didn’t want to have _at all_ ), along with a hero by the name of Ant-Man, who just sounded like a joke.

They needed sanctuary, and the Captain knew just the place.

\---

“Welcome to the reason your invasion never would have lasted,” the Widow teased, and Loki had to admit that he was impressed.

He’d known of Wakanda, of course. But it had been a while since he’d last checked in on the country’s progress, and it had advanced to levels that actually came close to Asgard’s. Perhaps, he thought, once the battle against Thanos was over, the technology could help rebuild what his people had lost.

When they landed, Bruce was the only one who bowed – and after being told not to, he glared at Rhodes. Loki looked skywards. A prank was pulled, and it wasn’t by him. He was losing his touch.

The Captain was reunited with his friend. The Wakandan King allowed them sanctuary, and then the Captain whispered something in his ear. Loki knew immediately that they were talking about him, and pretended to admire the palace while the King’s gaze fell on him.

The King then turned to one of his guards and said in Wakandan, “Keep an eye on our Asgardian guest. If he makes trouble, give him a good poke.”

As always, he couldn’t resist. Loki spoke loudly, in perfect Wakandan, “If you poke holes in the leather, we’re going to have a problem.”

Everyone turned to him in shock, including a good number of the Wakandans in the surrounding area.

“You speak Wakandan?” the Captain asked.

Loki grinned. “I speak _everything_.”

“There are thousands of spoken languages in the world. I doubt you know them all,” said the Widow – but she spoke to him in Russian.

He responded in Mandarin. “I was raised to be a diplomat to my brother.” And then he switched to Norwegian. “I’ve had over a thousand years to learn them all.”

“Can you speak the dead languages?” she asked in Classical Latin.

“Can you speak any alien languages?” he asked in response, in Kree.

Her eyes narrowed. “That was clearly an alien language, so that’s cheating.”

“Are you two done?” the Captain spoke up, sounding a little bit annoyed but mostly amused.

\---

The King’s sister found a way to remove the Mind Stone from the android – or the Vision, as everyone kept calling him, and Loki had to wonder where that name came from – and set to work while everyone else talked tactics.

Loki was surprised when the Captain asked for his opinion, since he was under the impression that he was only their reluctant (on their part) ally, despite what had been revealed back at the compound. Though it made sense, he soon realized; he was the only one who knew what Thanos was capable of, his armies, his children… He knew what to expect, and the best way to fight back.

He detailed as much as he knew, and they made plans. When the meeting was over and they split up to rest themselves, Loki found himself in an empty hallway and allowed his mind to wonder.

The Captain’s words refused to leave him. They really wouldn’t be in their current situation had he just told them the truth from the beginning. Then perhaps he wouldn’t have been locked away in Asgard’s dungeons, he wouldn’t have been there during the Dark Elves’ attack, wouldn’t have directed that monster to Asgard’s defences, and the monster wouldn’t have…

His eyes screwed shut, and a tear escaped.

Then perhaps he wouldn’t have usurped Asgard’s throne, leaving Odin vulnerable. Then he wouldn’t have died, Hela wouldn’t have been released, no Ragnarok…

And Thanos wouldn’t have made a play for the Stones, if the threat of his father’s intervention truly had been holding the Mad Titan back. Perhaps, if Loki had told him, Odin may have waged war on Thanos himself, if he’d thought the threat was dire enough.

If he wanted to go further back, there was also the fact that it was him who had discovered the Tesseract on Earth and had told Thanos, making Earth a target…

His thoughts drew to a halt. He wasn’t alone.

“Still adept at sneaking up on me, I see.”

He didn’t turn, just waited for the Widow to approach and stand next to him.

“I know that look,” she said. “I wore it a lot, right after I joined SHIELD. For the longest time I kept asking myself what if I’d done things differently; tried harder to escape the Red Room, tried to change before I killed too many… Eventually I realized that if I kept dwelling on the past in some kind of fruitless hope that it’ll fix itself, I wouldn’t be able to change my future. The first step to wiping away the red on your ledger is accepting that it’s there, and traces of it will always be there – and that’s OK, because we all make mistakes. They don’t make us monsters.”

“All I seem to make are mistakes,” said Loki. “My father died because of the banishment I had inflicted on him, releasing a sister I never knew I had – who was so bloodthirsty it makes my conquest of Earth look tame by comparison – and I opened the way to Asgard for her. I stole the Tesseract when Asgard burned, thus leading Thanos right to my people who had already lost everything, leaving half of them dead and the other half lost in the vast emptiness of space. And yet, my brother _still_ saved me, because he’s a sentimental idiot, and it’s likely he’s floating lightyears away, _dead_. Because of _me_. That’s already a hefty list of mistakes, and I haven’t even gone back further than the _past month_.”

“I’m…not gonna lie, that’s an accomplishment.” The Widow shrugged. “But the whole sister thing sounds like your dad’s fault for not telling you.”

That he could agree with, at least. “Odin’s solution to everything was to cover it up.”

“And the Tesseract… If Thanos really wanted to punish you for your failure, then he would’ve come after you even if you didn’t have it.”

And that, annoyingly, made sense. Thanos _had_ made an effort to keep him and Thor alive; like he wanted to make an example of him. If he’d only been after the Stone, he wouldn’t have bothered.

“I really need to stop underestimating you.”

“That’s not what you said last time.”

“I am sorry,” he said with all sincerity. “For the threat and for what I called you.”

“It was gross and insulting, but I have to give your points for your creativity in name-calling.”

\---

Somehow, he found himself in the same room as the Vision, whose eyes were closed as he lay unmoving. The woman, Wanda, was sat beside him, and her eyes were closed, too. Both resting after a long day.

The King’s sister was working, and paid Loki no mind.

He stood by the window and gazed up into the sky. It would be foolish to hope that Thor was still alive, but then his brother was stubborn. Far too stubborn to let something like death slow him down. His brain and heart warred with one another, his logical side telling him that Thor couldn’t possible have survived the Mad Titan’s wrath, while his heart refused to believe that his beloved brother was gone so soon after they’d reconciled.

The wall to his left lit up, and Loki turned to see a video playing of the King examining his new suit. He turned to the camera and said, “You’re recording?”

“For research purposes,” said the girl on camera. The King’s sister.

The King kicked the suit in the section that was glowing purple, and the suit let out a shock wave that sent the man flying across the room. There was snickering behind him, and Loki turned to see that it was the King’s sister who had played the video.

“So,” she began, “I hear you’re the God of Mischief. Your brother must’ve _loved_ that.”

He understood why she had shown him the video. “I once turned him into a frog, among other things. I also turned into a snake so I could get close enough to stab him.”

“I’ll admit, I never went that far.” She kept working on Vision, and the smile on her face fell slightly. “There was a succession crisis of a sort, right after my brother became King. Turns out we had a cousin we never knew about; our father never told us about him. He was on a warpath, and _very_ angry.”

That sounded disturbingly familiar. “Go on.”

“They had a fight, and he threw my brother off a waterfall,” she continued. “We thought he was dead. But then we found him alive. Before we did, I’d been too afraid to hope. Sometimes it can be foolish to, but it’s never wrong.”

He knew what she was saying; he shouldn’t give up hope that Thor was still alive.

And maybe she was right. Loki turned away, closed his eyes and prayed to the Norns.

\---

Whether the Norns had answered his prayers or it was down to sheer luck, Loki’s hope wasn’t foolish.

It hadn’t taken long for Thanos’s forces to track them down, and they’d journeyed from the city out onto the open fields so the civilians wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire. Loki had stood beside the Widow on the journey, and both had laughed when Bruce – wearing one of Stark’s larger armours – tripped and fell flat on his face.

When they were standing ready, Loki decided against materialising his helmet on his head, knowing that those around him were still wary of his presence. It wouldn’t be a good idea to remind them of the fact that not too long ago, he’d been on the opposing side.

The time came. They charged.

The battle raged. Loki quickly caught on that Thanos’s mooks weren’t the most intelligent beings, so created several copies of himself to distract them, especially around allies who were struggling. His daggers were sliced through limbs and buried in guts, and some he let loose through the air. At one point he was tackled by a beast and bumped his head on the ground, causing him to drop the illusion over his cut. There was dirt on his face, but in the middle of battle, there wasn’t time to care.

Wanda came down and flattened enemies with ease. Loki made a note to perhaps teach her how to hone that raw power better.

And then he arrived.

Thor.

He had a new weapon, two new allies beside him, and he looked enraged.

“Bring me Thanos!”

Loki wanted to run and hug him fiercely (and maybe stab him so he didn’t do something so ridiculously stupid ever again), but the battle was still going, so Loki just settled for only running to his side.

“You’re late!”

“If Thanos isn’t here yet, then I’d say I’m early!” was all his brother said.

The Captain joined them, the pair bantered about their hair and beards (Loki just rolled his eyes), and the Captain look bewildered by Thor’s newest allies.

And he wasn’t the only one. When Thor’s smaller ally let out a war cry, the Falcon – who had landed nearby – did a double take and stared dumbly at the creature.

“That’s a racoon! That’s a _talking_ racoon!”

The racoon took offence. “Hey, watch it, bird boy!”

“Racoon?” Thor frowned. “I thought he was a rabbit.”

Loki looked heavenward, and threw a dagger to his left without looking. It hit an enemy in the throat. “I don’t know why you seem so surprised,” he said to the Falcon. “These creatures are native to Midgard, are they not?”

The Falcon looked at him like _he_ was the idiot. “Yeah, but they don’t _talk_!”

“Oh. Well, that’s boring.”

The banter was light. The Vision was attacked, but they managed to hold off Thanos’s children while the android took refuge in a small line of trees. Wanda was by his side, and the battle began to turn in their favour.

Then Thanos arrived.

With five stones.

Loki wondered briefly if Stark and the second-rate were still alive, but couldn’t dwell on it. They needed to stop him from getting the Mind Stone.

One by one, the Avengers threw themselves at the Mad Titan. He merely tossed them away like they were nothing. His gaze was fixed on the android and Wanda, the latter using all of her power to destroy the Stone.

Out of other options, Loki reached for the second object he’d stolen from the treasure room: The Casket of Ancient Winters. He hadn’t used it on the _Statesman_ , knowing its power was far too weak against the might of Thanos, but the goal wasn’t to kill him. It was to slow him down.

He took a deep breath, and then placed himself before Thanos. The Casket opened, building a wall of ice in front of the Mad Titan. Loki felt his form changing, blue skin creeping from his hands to his head, but he’d long made peace with his Jötunn heritage. He wasn’t afraid of his allies seeing him for what he really was.

Thanos used the Power Stone to shatter the wall of ice, before he reached out and grabbed Loki by the throat. Loki dropped the Casket and grasped desperately at the Gauntlet with both hands. The Titan began to squeeze.

“You will… _never_ …be a…God!” Loki managed to gasp out.

He thought it was over.

But then Thanos looked passed him and must have seen Wanda’s progress with the destruction of the Mind Stone. Realizing he didn’t have time to finish the job, the Titan tossed Loki aside.

He ended up crashing into a tree, and though he didn’t black out, he could only lie dazed for a number of minutes. Out of the corner of his eye he saw an explosion…which was then reversed. It was soon followed by a flash of familiar lightning.

“Loki! Come on, don’t die on us now!”

The Widow appeared beside him and helped him to his feet. He looked down at his hands and saw that they had returned to their regular colour.

_Snap!_

The sound was louder than a gunshot and echoed through Loki’s very soul.

Dread seeped into his entire being. He didn’t want to contemplate it, refused to turn and confirm what had happened, but then he saw the Wakandan King turn to dust, followed by the Captain’s friend.

“Thor…” If his brother turned to dust after only just being reunited with him…

“Bruce!” The Widow spun in a circle, desperately searching for the man she loved, her eyes widening in horror at the people they were losing.

Loki couldn’t see his brother anywhere. He started to run. “ _Thor!_ ”

He saw Wanda kneeling over the broken body of the Vision, before she too turned to dust.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…_

And then the relief hit him like a tidal wave when he saw his brother standing still in the middle of it all, new weapon still in hand, head hung low.

Those who had fallen were already gone. The Sons of Odin had been spared.

Not caring who was watching, Loki sprinted across the distance that separated them and grabbed his brother in the tightest hug he’d ever given. At first Thor didn’t register his presence, but when he did, he dropped his weapon and returned the hug just as fiercely. Tears of shock streamed down both their faces.

“I should’ve gone for the head… I should’ve gone for the head…” Thor repeated the words in Loki’s ear, his voice full of guilt.

They didn’t dare pull apart, both too afraid that one of them would turn to dust, but they looked around to see who was left.

The Captain. The Widow. Rhodes. The Wakandan King’s guard. Bruce. The racoon. There were a number of warriors were still on the battle field.

Everyone else was gone.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, but not by Thor’s doing.

The only other sound was the two words out of the Captain’s mouth.

“Oh God.”

\---

All this pain, all this fear began because of me,

is the thing they see the thing I have to be: a monster

– “Monster”, _Frozen on Broadway_


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanos achieved his goal. Is there any hope it can be reversed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to remind readers that how Loki was treated in these films was my only gripe. I was fine with everything else, including the character deaths in Endgame. If these deaths bothered you, then turn back now.

I have to stay alive to fix what I’ve done,

save the world from myself, and bring back the sun

– “Monster”, _Frozen on Broadway_

\---

Time passed in a blur.

Loki couldn’t remember arriving at the Avengers compound. He let himself run on autopilot, helping the Avengers wherever he could. He gave political advice, when the surviving governments of the world contacted them in a panic. He figured out that the device Fury had left behind before turning to dust had sent a signal into deep space, and he was proven right when a mysterious woman in Kree battle armour arrived suddenly, glowing from energy linked to the Space Stone.

When she was sent back into space to see if Stark and any of Rocket’s team had survived Thanos, Loki asked if she could also track down the remnants of Asgard. He wondered how many were left; how many had survived the snap. Once again, Thanos had lowered their numbers.

Thor didn’t speak to him. He didn’t speak to anyone. He barely ate, barely drank, and sat alone in a silent rage that was fuelled by his guilt. Loki knew better than to try and get him to do much of anything.

Stark’s woman, whose name was Pepper, arrived at the compound, but Loki didn’t know when. Barton and the Ant-Man were contacted. The former replied, but the latter did not.

Days turned to weeks.

Thanos used the Stones again. No one else disappeared, and no one reappeared, so it became a question of what he had done. Loki had a suspicion, but he feared the answer so greatly that he refused to voice his concerns. He had to keep hoping that they could make things better, even if that hope was foolish.

Finally, Danvers arrived with Stark and a familiar face Loki recalled from him time as Thanos’s captive: Nebula.

Rocket had explained how Gamora had turned on Thanos, and how her sister had eventually followed. But Nebula was alone; there was no Gamora, and the team Rocket had described was nowhere in sight. The racoon simply sat by her side and they held hands, mourning the family they had lost.

Stark was a mess. He was relieved to find that Pepper had survived, but once they began to talk about what had happened, he lost it. He directed most of his rage at the Captain for not listening to him, but no one else was safe. When his gaze fell on Loki, he accused him of putting his pride above the needs of others, in that he’d refused to tell them who was really behind the invasion of New York.

He collapsed immediately after, and it was clear that his poor health was to blame for his outburst. But he was still right. Loki knew that if he had just told them what was really going on, they would have been better prepared.

With Stark on bedrest, the remainder of the team planned their next move. Nebula spoke of Thanos’s plans for after he had used the Stones; how he wanted to settle down for a quite life on a distance planet and live in peace.

“That’s cute,” Rhodes snarked, “Thanos has a retirement plan.”

They decided to go after him, and Danvers joined them.

Loki knew that if she had found Stark sooner, they would have stood a chance. But Thanos had used the Stones again, and he feared that they were going to be too late.

\---

It was over too quickly. That was how Loki knew before anyone else that they were, indeed, too late.

Bruce crashed through the Titan’s home in his armour and pinned him down, followed by Danvers grabbing his arm that held the burnt-out Gauntlet. Thor cut it off, and Rocket scrambled to push it out of Thanos’s reach.

Loki marched in on the Captain’s right, and everyone froze when Rocket revealed that the Stones were gone.

Thanos had destroyed them. He confirmed it himself.

“My father is many things,” said Nebula. “A liar isn’t one of them.”

And the Titan actually had the nerve to give her thanks, to say that he regretted being too harsh on her. He had taken her apart piece by piece, used her desperation to please him to his advantage, tossed her aside when she was no longer useful… And to then act like he actually _cared_ …

Loki summoned a knife into his hand, and he itched with the desire to cut the Titan’s throat. “You’re a monster.”

He only chuckled. “Says the monster who started it all. Don’t pretend to be anything more than what you are. We both know the truth.”

Thor swung his axe, and his aim was true.

The body collapsed while the head rolled and halted before Nebula’s feet. She didn’t flinch, and remained silent as she bent down and closed the eyes of her adoptive father.

“I went for the head,” was all Thor said in response to his actions, and walked away.

No one knew what to say. What to do.

The silence was deafening.

\---

_Five years later…_

“How are we handling it?”

“It’s an earthquake under the ocean, Nat. We handle it by not handling it.”

Loki knew that Natasha was desperate for some action, seeking some way to show that heroes were still relevant in a world where they’d lost. She wanted to help in any way she could to make up for all the people who were gone. He, too, wanted some excitement, but the chaos he loved had no place in the world they lived in.

The five holograms before him showed the people responsible for what remained of order in the galaxy. It was something Natasha and Danvers had set up, soon after their return to Earth, and had so far been successful.

After Okoye gave her report, Rocket and Danvers bantered for a bit. Nebula said her piece, and then Natasha turned her attention to Loki.

“What about that monster one of the fishermen saw? A…Kraken?”

“No Kraken,” he replied. “Just an unusually large Greenland Shark. It’s harmless.”

She smirked. “I’d love to see you eat your words when it starts going _Jaws_ on your ass.”

He chuckled. “The only threat it poses is to our fish. I’d create a magic barrier to stop it from coming near the shore, but the animals on this planet are suffering from the loss just as greatly as us. I’d be dooming it to starvation.”

“I know.” She nodded.

Okoye, Nebula, Rocket and Danvers signed off, leaving the two of them and Rhodes.

Loki continued with his news. “She liked the Pegasus I gave her, but she still threatened to stab me.”

Natasha smirked again. At least he could get her to smile. Not much could these days. “Brunnhilde is gonna kill you for real, one of these days.”

Rhodes chuckled. “And then she’ll put your head on a pike as a warning for any other men who want to try their luck.”

Loki just shrugged. His attempts to court the last of the Valkyries wasn’t exactly a secret. “I’m not one to give up so easily. And she won’t kill me, because then she’ll have to deal with my brother.”

The sombre mood returned. “He still won’t come out?” asked Natasha.

“I gave up trying,” said Loki.

She nodded. “Let me know if anything changes. Tell Brunnhilde I said hi, and I want a ride of her Pegasus.”

“His name is Starbuck, and I’ll let her know.” He signed off and let out a sigh. The council he had formed would want and update, so he walked over to the door and opened it, allowing the salty air to hit his face. Seagulls cawed overhead and waves crashed against the coastline.

The village was small, nestled in the middle of nowhere along the coast of Norway. People went about their day, their faces blank. Children played in the streets, most of them orphans; some lost their parents to Hela, others lost their parents to the snap. Only very few were lucky enough to still have families. And then there were the parents who had watched their children turn to dust before their eyes…

The Asgardians were a shell of the people they’d once been.

Five years should have been nothing to them. But the last five years had felt like five thousand.

“Ready, your Majesty?” 

Loki turned to find Brunnhilde standing outside her own home. She was part of the council, something he’d insisted on, and not because of his pursuit of her.

“I told you not to call me that.”

“You’re still a Prince,” she said. “And you’re more of a King than your brother right now.”

He sighed. Thor had retreated in on himself soon after Thanos’s death, leaving Loki to pick up the pieces of their shattered people. On the one hand, he knew Thor was hurting; they’d lost both their parents, found out that they had a sister, lost her too, lost their home, and then lost well over half of their people. And most of that had happened within the space of a month. He understood why Thor was acting the way he was.

On the other hand, Loki felt the same pain. It affected him too. But Thor only focussed on his own, refusing to bear even a little bit of the burden, instead thrusting it entirely on his brother. Thor embraced his pain and let it consume in, and in response, Loki had pushed his own aside in order to restore some semblance of a life to the people they were supposed to protect.

He loved his brother. He always would. But the urge to stab him was growing stronger by the day, and it had already been pretty high to begin with.

Loki wiped a hand down his face. He was tired and done with everything, but he had to push forward. “The council is waiting. Let’s go.”

\---

Loki and Brunnhilde were talking with the fishermen when Bruce and Rocket pulled up in a pick-up truck out of the blue. Loki frowned; they hadn’t mentioned they were visiting, and he couldn’t think of a reason why they’d show up.

He’d stopped fearing the Hulk a long time ago, but it was still strange to see the green giant and hear Bruce’s voice out of his mouth. “Loki. It’s good to see you.”

“It’s unexpected to see you,” said Loki. “What brings you here?”

“For once, good news,” said Bruce. “We think we’ve found a way to bring everyone back.”

Everyone froze, even Brunnhilde and the fishermen around them.

Loki had long given up hope that they could return. To hear those words after so long felt surreal. “Really?”

“We’ll explain later,” said Bruce. “It’s all hands-on-deck. Where’s Thor?”

“It’s no use trying to get him to help you,” said Brunnhilde. “Lackey will be more useful than him.”

Loki smirked at her. “Why Brunnhilde, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.”

“I wasn’t trying to be nice,” she said back. “I was stating the truth. Thor only comes out of his house once a month to collect beer.” She gestured over to the barrels sat on the dock.

“We need both Odinsons for this,” said Rocket.

“Thor for his strength,” said Bruce, “and Loki for his knowledge.”

“My knowledge?”

“You’ve been in contact with three Infinity Stones,” Bruce explained. “That’s half of them.” And he explained why that was important on the way to Thor’s home.

The Ant-Man, who they’d believed had turned to dust, wasn’t actually dead. He’d been stuck inside something called the Quantum Realm, and while five years had passed, for him it had felt like five hours. Because of this, he believed that it was possible to travel through time using the Quantum Realm.

The plan was to travel back to certain points in time, gather the Infinity Stones, bring them to the present and use them to reverse the snap. It sounded crazy and chaotic, but that was just how Loki liked it.

By the time they reached Thor’s door, only one thing held Loki back. “The people here need me. Thor may be King, but I’m the one running things.”

“But if you do this, then they can have their loved ones back,” said Brunnhilde. “There are children without parents, and parents without children. In doing this you’ll still be taking care of them. I can handle things until you return.”

He squished down the temptation to flirt, and instead gave her a genuine smile. “Thank you.” But once Bruce and Rocket disappeared inside Thor’s home, the temptation returned and he added, “You’re already acting like a Queen. I knew you were interested.”

She rolled her eyes, but there was also a smile trying to break through. “Oh, zip it, Lackey. You’ve got a world to save.”

He grinned, and said in a sing-song voice, “I’m not hearing a ‘no’.”

“I’m not saying a ‘yes’,” she shot back in the same tone. She was definitely flirting; he was certain of it. He’d always suspected she was playing hard-to-get.

There was a loud bang from inside the house, followed by Rocket’s exclamation of, “You look like melted ice cream!”

\---

Eventually Thor was convinced to come along, with the promise of beer. When he stepped out of his house, he gave Loki a great big hug and sounded happy at the thought that they would get to spend more time together. It almost killed any annoyance and anger Loki held for his brother.

Almost. He only hoped that bringing everyone back would finally shake Thor out of his behaviour, so he could pull himself together and take some responsibility.

The compound hadn’t changed, except that things seemed a little brighter. For the first time in five years, there was hope that things would get better. The Avengers were focussed on building the machine that would send them back in time, saving the talk about the Stones until after, so Loki merely observed them work. He couldn’t see Natasha anywhere, and wondered where she was.

His unasked question was answered when she arrived with Barton. He looked worse than Thor; nothing but a broken shell of a man who had nothing left to live for, yet there was a small spark in his eyes that Natasha had no doubt lit with the news that his family could be brought back.

That spark ignited into a burning fire of rage when he saw Loki, and within seconds his sword was drawn and he was marching forwards before Natasha could try and stop him.

Loki stepped back, ready to summon his daggers and defend his life, but he didn’t need to. Bruce stepped in between them and simply held out a hand, stopping Barton in his tracks.

“Easy, Clint!”

“Why is _he_ here?! He started this mess in the first place!”

“Clint, he’s helping us!” Natasha caught up with him and also stood in his way. “He fought alongside us five years ago.”

“And that makes up for it?! He doesn’t deserve to be here! _Why did he survive when they didn’t?!_ ”

Five years was a long time, long enough that Loki thought he had buried the guilt. But apparently, it wasn’t long enough. Or maybe he just hadn’t buried it deep enough.

“If I could trade my life for your family’s, then I would!”

His words echoed throughout the room. Everyone around them stopped working.

Bruce stepped aside so Barton was visible. All the pain and the anger, raw and terrible, burnt a hole in Loki’s soul.

“Clint…” Natasha laid a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “You weren’t there. Loki was a victim of Thanos. The sceptre was controlling him too, just as it did you.”

“And that absolves me of blame?” Loki said to her. “I told him of Earth and made it a target. I could have explained, after the battle was over, that he was controlling me. I _should_ have explained. But I let my pride get the best of me. I didn’t warn anyone that there was a Mad Titan out there, wanting to wipe out half of the universe, and look where that decision’s left us. He was right. I _was_ the monster who started it all.”

“Loki…” Thor, for the first time in years, actually looked sober.

“You should have let him kill me, Brother,” Loki continued. “That’s what he was there to do after taking the Tesseract. I should have died that night…and I would have deserved it.”

He turned on his heel and marched from the room. He expected Bruce or Natasha to come after him.

He didn’t expect Stark.

“Hey, hold up. I’m sorry ‘bout that, Elsa.”

Loki figured there was no use running, and drew to a halt. Stark had eyes everywhere in the form of his AI.

“And what sort of nickname is that?”

“…I should show you and your brother _Frozen_ , sometime. Morgan loves it.”

“I don’t want your pity, Stark.”

“And I’m not giving it to you,” he said. “Look, it sucks what happened to you, but you don’t deserve death because of some bad decisions you made. If dumb choices were punishable by death, I would’ve been dead a long time ago.”

With a sigh, Loki turned to the other man. “And how many mistakes have you made, Stark?”

“I lost count years ago,” he replied. “Look, we’re all to blame for this mess in some way, but right now that’s not important. What matters is realizing that you made a mistake, and doing everything you can to make it right.”

He nodded. “If I have to die to achieve that, then make certain Thor doesn’t drown himself in every alcoholic beverage your planet has.”

“Only if you promise that if _I_ …die, then you’ll teach Morgan the art of mischief. Pepper won’t let me teach her until she’s at least six.”

“Oh, I’ll teach her more than that.”

Stark looked heavenward as they walked back to the main area of the compound. “Heaven help the woman who bears your children. And don’t look at me like that, Bruce told me all about the snake stabbing incident.”

Loki shrugged in agreement. “If it eases your mind, the only woman I’m interested in seems more inclined to stab _me_.”

\---

When the machine was done, it was time to talk about the known locations of the Stones through time. They had to choose points in time where they knew the Stones would be, and the best time to take them.

The Reality Stone was the first one they talked about, and all eyes turned to the Odinsons.

“I spent most of my time locked up in Asgard’s dungeons, and when Thor broke me out, I fought alongside him briefly before faking my own death,” Loki explained. “My brother will know more about it than me.”

They all turned to Thor…who was sat unmoving on a chair with a pair of sunglasses over his eyes. He didn’t respond to anyone calling his name.

“Is he asleep?”

“Nah, I think he’s dead.”

Loki sighed. “Allow me.”

He stood beside his brother and transformed himself into a snake. Slivering along his brother’s shoulder, he waited patiently until Thor sensed the presence and opened his eyes. “Is there more beer?” he slurred, removing his sunglasses.

His gaze was slowly drawn to his shoulder, and he screeched like a little girl upon seeing the snake. He slid off the chair and fell to the floor.

In a flash of light, Loki transformed back into himself and stood above his brother with an unamused look, arms folded across his front. The Avengers were trying their hardest not to laugh at the spectacle.

Thor leapt to his feet. “I only screamed because he stabbed me the last time he did that. It was a totally warranted reaction.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t stab you _this_ time,” said Loki. “We need you to tell us about the Aether. You were in contact with it more than I was.”

“Right.” Thor stood in front of the screens and began to explain what had happened with the Reality Stone.

It soon went sideways. Thor kept stumbling over his explanation, talking about his failed relationship with Jane Foster, almost crying over their mother’s death… The latter was a painful reminder for Loki as well, especially because he still harboured a good amount of guilt for that.

But still, Thor wasn’t getting them anywhere. Loki sighed, rose from his seat and waved his hand in front of his brother’s face. Thor tumbled to the floor unconscious, and remained silent for a few seconds before letting out a large snore.

“To recap,” said Loki, “Jane Foster found the Aether, got it trapped inside her, Thor took her back to Asgard, the Dark Elves attacked Asgard, our mother…perished in the fight, Thor broke me out of prison so I could help him take Jane off-world, and honestly the rest of what happened doesn’t truly matter. The best place to take it from would be when it’s on Asgard but before the attack. Any time afterwards it was heavily guarded.”

Stark’s head was in his hands. “That’s literally all we wanted to know. We should never have let the Big Lebowski speak.”

Loki shrugged in agreement.

They discussed the other Stones. Rocket explained where his teammate had found the Power Stone, and Nebula described the planet where the Soul Stone was kept. Talking about the Tesseract and the Mind Stone was easy, since most of the people in the room had been in contact with them in some way. When they talked about the Time Stone, it was Natasha who pointed out that there was a point in time where _three_ Infinity Stones were in the same city.

Bruce sat up in shock. “Shut the front door.”

“Why else do you think I picked that city to begin with?” said Loki. “It wasn’t for the scenery, or Stark’s tower as he likes to believe.”

“Watch it, Reindeer Games,” said the man in question. “If we’re really going back to that time, I’ll be very tempted to smack the past version of you around a little bit more.”

“If you can hit my head a little sooner, perhaps I’ll be tempted to forego my pride and tell you about Thanos. That could fix this mess.”

“Hey, I told you, Time Travel doesn’t work that way,” Bruce reminded them.

“If you insist,” said Loki. “And if that’s the case, I wish to go to Asgard and retrieve the Aether. I’d rather not relive my failure a second time.”

They formed teams. Thor would be going with Loki to Asgard to retrieve the Reality Stone, and while Loki wasn’t enjoying the prospect of dragging his drunken brother around their childhood home where anyone they knew could catch them, he understood why he was coming. Rhodes, Rocket and Nebula would get the Power Stone, with Barton and Natasha tagging along to the same time period to split off and go after the Soul Stone. Stark, Rogers, Bruce and the Ant-Man would go back to New York to fetch the remaining three Stones.

The suits weren’t at all flattering, but Stark was going for practicality, so they would do. When they were standing on the platform ready, Rogers gave one of his rousing speeches, something Loki would typically roll his eyes at. But given the circumstances, even he had to admit that this one was called for.

Even so, a few of the Avengers looked at him expectantly after it was finished. “I’m not going to mock him. Right now.” He turned to Rogers. “But when we get back, I will mock you relentlessly.”

The man shrugged. “I’ll be prepared.”

\---

Loki coped by focussing solely on the mission.

He didn’t think about how he was back on Asgard, how this would be the last time he ever saw his home world. He didn’t think about his father sat upon his throne, a man he had hated until the moment of his death. He didn’t think about his mother roaming the halls, blissfully unaware that she was merely hours away from her own death.

If he thought about any of it, his resolve would crumble and the mission would fail.

They appeared in the dungeons, a place where no one would see them arrive. Loki placed an illusion over them to make them invisible, before they walked past the cells towards the exit. The cell that held the monster who’d killed their mother was ignored, and Loki squished down the temptation to slip inside and kill the creature before it escaped.

He couldn’t help but glance at his own cell, however. His past self was lazily draped over the bed, while he tossed a cup up and down in a bored manner. Loki examined himself before following Thor out of the dungeons. Even as a prisoner, he managed to look good.

When they arrived in the hallway that led to Jane’s room, Loki placed a hand on Thor’s chest to stop him. “We need a plan.”

“You make the plans.”

“Fine. You go in there, distract her with your charm, and then I’ll sneak up behind her and put her to sleep. Then we can grab the Aether and go.” He looked down at Thor’s bulging belly, and dismissed the plan immediately. Jane Foster wasn’t stupid; she would know this wasn’t _her_ Thor, and he was really in no state to charm anyone. “On second thought, I can make myself look like you and go in there alone. You stay here and make sure no one disturbs us.”

“Actually, I plan to go spend some time in Father’s wine cellar.”

He started talking about all the different alcohol Odin kept down there. There was no interest in helping with the mission. Five years of pent up rage burst free, and Loki pinned his brother against one of the pillars. He didn’t stab him – he knew Stark wouldn’t be happy if he got blood on the suits – so instead he slapped his brother across the face.

“I am done with you, Brother. Done. We were supposed to be in this together, but for the last five years you haven’t cared about anyone but yourself! I have been taking care of our people while you’ve been sitting on your arse, gorging yourself on Hel knows what and drinking so much that even Brunnhilde thinks you have a problem! I have been alone, struggling without you! I lost everything you did, but there was no one to help me because I’ve been too busy picking up after _you_! I don’t even recognize you as my brother anymore! In fact, if you called for you hammer now, it won’t come! Because you haven’t been worthy of it in a long time!”

After the words left his mouth, he knew he’d been too harsh. And to make him feel even more terrible, Thor’s bottom lip began to tremble.

Loki calmed himself and asked, gently, “Are you crying?”

“…No.”

Thor looked both too old and too young all at once; like a man who had seen too much grief for one lifetime, and a child who had lost everything. It was a pitiful sight, but it melted the ice around Loki’s heart.

“Brother, I’m sorry,” he said. “We can talk about this when we get back. Just…stay here, while I get the Aether.”

But Thor wasn’t listening; his gaze was drawn somewhere else. Loki turned around and froze.

Their mother was walking by, in deep conversation with her handmaidens.

“This is the day she dies…” said Thor.

Loki shook his head. “I know, but we can’t intervene.”

“Surely we can…”

“ _No_. I miss her too, Thor. _Please_ don’t tempt me. My resolve can only hold for so long.”

Thor gazed longingly after her, but nodded in understanding.

Loki couldn’t maintain the illusion around him, so pushed Thor behind a pillar before casting an illusion of a younger Thor over himself. After making sure that the syringe was close to hand, Loki stepped inside the room.

Jane was lying down on the bed, though her eyes fluttered open upon hearing him come in. “Thor?”

“Stay there. Don’t get up.” It would be easier for her, so she didn’t have a hard landing. And it wouldn’t be any good if someone found her lying in the middle of the floor. “You need to rest.” He moved across the room and stood over her.

“Mmm…” She gazed up at him with eyes full of love.

Part of Loki wanted to puke, that a smart an intelligent woman such as her always turned into a silly little girl whenever his brother was around. Another part of Loki ached to find someone who could look at him in the same way.

He waved a hand across her face and sent her back to sleep. It didn’t take very long at all to remove the Aether from her, and Loki had to wonder why it was such a huge issue before.

The job was done. He left the room and cast an illusion of a guard over himself, before sighing when he found that his brother wasn’t where he had left him. Hoping that Thor hadn’t stumbled upon a familiar face, Loki began to search the halls for any sign of him. He avoided Odin conversing with his council, and he made certain not to cross paths with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three.

Sif. She hadn’t survived the snap. Loki made a note to try and contact her when they reversed it. Maybe she’d be able to do Thor some good.

Eventually he heard his brother’s voice, but the fact that he was talking meant one of two things: it was the past version of Thor, or it was _his_ Thor, and he’d been discovered…

Loki froze when he turned the corner and saw who it was. His illusion dropped.

“Mother.”

She smiled at him. “Loki. My son. I knew you would find your way back to the light in time.”

Of course she knew he was from the future. She had been raised by witches, after all.

His first steps towards her were slow, cautious. But then he couldn’t help it, and he sprinted the rest of the way to her before throwing his arms around her. Frigga’s familiar sent was like a security blanket, grounding him in the safety of her presence. The floodgates opened, and he trembled with the raw emotion he’d been holding back for too long.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said to you, you’re my mother, you’ll always be my mother…” So much for holding it together. Once the tears started falling, he couldn’t stop them.

“Shhh… I know, my son. I know you didn’t mean them.”

He crumbled in relief. She hadn’t died thinking that he hated her. She’d known…and now, they weren’t his last words to her.

“I presume that Thor has told you why we’re here?” he asked, pulling back from her at last.

She nodded. “I have spoken with him, and now I will speak with you. He told me how you have helped our people flourish in times of despair, and I am so proud of you.”

His heart nearly burst. “I don’t think ‘flourish’ is the right word.”

“Asgard lives on, and that is all that matters,” she told him. “As I told your brother, I do not wish to know my fate; let me face it when it comes. All I ask is that you take care of each other, and Loki…make sure your brother eats a salad when he gets back.”

Loki laughed. “I will, Mother. Goodbye.”

He finally let go of her, for the last time.

“Time to go?” Thor looked reluctant, but he was more determined. There was resolve in his entire being; whatever Frigga had told him, it had worked to restore the God of Thunder.

“Time to go.” Loki nodded and activated his suit.

“Wait!” Thor cried out…and held out his hand.

Nothing happened.

“Sometimes it takes a second,” Frigga reminded them.

And she was right. Thor’s hammer came flying to him, landing in his hand like it had never been missing.

“I’m still worthy!”

Loki grinned.

Thor activated his own suit, and the last thing Loki saw of Asgard was his mother’s smiling face before they shrank into the Quantum Realm.

\---

They arrived back on the pad, the other Avengers around them.

Before Loki could speak of their success, Stark punched him in the shoulder. “You are a little shit.”

“What?”

“Your past self nearly shot the plan to shit when he stole the Tesseract right from under our noses!”

“Oh.” That sounded like something he would do. Back then, anyway. “I apologize. Does that mean…?”

“Nah, we got the Stone. Steve and I went back to the 70’s to go get it and more Pym Particles. Just don’t be surprised if you bump into another version of yourself running around with the Tesseract.”

“Actually, he would’ve created an alternate timeline,” said Bruce. “The lady I met at the Sanctum explained it to me. Which reminds me, once we’re done with these, we need to put them back exactly where we found them… Wait… Where’s Nat?”

Everyone looked at Barton.

His head was hung low, and there were tears in his eyes.

\---

Natasha was gone.

She’d sacrificed herself to get the Soul Stone.

Loki wasn’t surprised that she would do such a thing. But he wanted to rage and scream at the universe for taking her, one of the few genuine friends he’d ever had. Were people like them destined to meet such a fate? Would they only be able to make up for their crimes if they died?

If that was the case, then it would only be a matter of time before fate caught up with him.

He listened in on the remainder of the Old Guard talking, and heard enough to know that she wasn’t coming back. Her death couldn’t be reversed, even now that they had the Stones. Perhaps if he had gone to the planet in her place, he could’ve died, because he doubted anyone other than his brother (and Bruce and Natasha) would miss him.

But then if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have seen his mother again…

He slammed his fist against the wall. It was such a selfish thought to have after the death of his friend.

Eyes closed, he took a calming breath. Then he lowered himself to his knees.

“Natasha Romanoff, I bid you take your place in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave shall live forever. Nor shall we mourn, but rejoice for those who have died a glorious death.”

Before he could continue, he sensed that he was no longer alone.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to see Barton stood behind him, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed in front of him.

“Is that what they said on Asgard?”

“They’re funeral rites.”

The man nodded before stepping into the room, but he didn’t get any further; just leaned back against the wall and slid onto the floor. He looked worse than he did before. Loki turned to him fully and remained seated, mirroring the archer’s position.

“On the way, she told me that you two were friends,” said Barton. “She also said I should give you a chance. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to, but… Now I do. For her.”

“She understood what I had been through, more than anyone,” said Loki. “She had faith that I would wipe the red from my ledger, perhaps more faith than even _I_ did.” He hesitated before speaking again. “What did you see in her, all those years ago?”

Barton took a moment before he replied. “A broken soul. The Red Room was all she’d ever known.”

“She always wondered why you didn’t kill her.”

“I know.” He sighed. “Sorry I attacked you. Since losing…them, I’ve been burning with so much rage. It’s the only way I can deal with the grief. But there I was, giving you shit after I’d killed just as many people as you did.”

“They were criminals. You’re above me in that respect.”

“But you were mind controlled.”

Loki sighed. “Thanos took my rage and enhanced it, burying everything else. It was always there.”

“So was mine,” said Barton. “It took losing my family to let it loose. Everyone has darkness in them, and sometimes it doesn’t take much to let it out.”

“Everyone but the Captain. He could make a fortune printing his speeches on posters.”

They both chuckled. Then remained silent in memory of their fallen friend.

\---

The Gauntlet was assembled. Everyone was gathered around it with the exception of Nebula. Loki briefly wondered where she was.

Thor tried to step forward and be the one to reverse the snap, but everyone else disagreed.

Loki stepped in front of him. “Brother, think. You have power, but it’s not enough.”

His brother scoffed. “What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?”

“Cheez Wiz?” said Rhodes.

“…And lightning. Yeah.”

“Brother…” Loki knew what he was trying to do. He wanted to sacrifice himself and make up for his failure. “The martyr act was cute the first time we fought, but now it will only get you needlessly killed.”

He managed to get Thor away from the Gauntlet so he couldn’t grab it, allowing Bruce to step forwards. The Hulk was born from gamma radiation, and the Stones would let loose an explosion of it when used. Bruce was the only one who could survive it.

Loki reminded Bruce that not everyone could appear back where they were; the Asgardians who had vanished in deep space needed to reappear in New Asgard. There were others who had disappeared while on planes, and would find themselves thousands of feet in the air. Bruce nodded and said he’d take care of it.

The build-up was nerve-racking. Bruce slowly put on the Gauntlet, and when he was ready, everyone around them prepared themselves for the shockwave. Loki threw up a magic shield, which he extended around Thor and Barton.

Bruce clicked his fingers.

_Snap!_

It felt like the first snap, but in reverse.

They only knew it had worked when Barton’s phone started to ring; it was his wife calling him. The Ant-Man walked over to the window to watch the birds that had suddenly appeared.

It was done. Everyone was back.

Bruce had just removed the Gauntlet from his hand and placed it back down again when a shadow appeared overhead.

Too late did Loki realize that the ship looked familiar, before the world exploded around them.

\---

For years, Frigga made sure that Loki’s first reaction when he suddenly came under attack would be to throw up magic shields to protect him and anyone else around him.

This lightning fast reaction not only saved his life when the compound collapsed, but Barton’s, too.

“Thanks.”

Loki merely nodded before they got to their feet and surveyed their surroundings. They were alone in some form of tunnel that glowed red from the emergency lights, and after some searching, they found the Gauntlet lying in the rubble. Barton picked it up.

“It was Thanos,” said Loki. “I recognized the ship.”

“Didn’t Thor kill him?”

“It’s possible he followed one of us from the past. Either from 2012 or 2014; he never would have been so close to Asgard.”

Barton tapped the comm in his ear. “Is anyone else alive out there?”

“ _I’m here_ ,” Stark’s voice replied. It was a little fuzzy, and Loki tapped the comm in his own ear to hear better. “ _Cap and Thor are with me_.”

Loki sighed in relief.

“Is it Thanos?” Barton asked. “We have the Gauntlet with us.”

“ _He’s here_ ,” said Cap. “ _We need to keep it away from him. Get out of here while we distract him._ ”

“ _Loki,_ ” came Thor’s voice. “ _I have an idea_.”

Knowing his brother’s tone of voice, Loki said bluntly, “I’m not doing ‘Get Help’.”

“… _You’re right, that wouldn’t work_.”

Understatement of the century.

“Get help?” Barton frowned at him.

“A stupid plan Thor came up with when we were children,” said Loki. “He would pretend I’m injured, run into a room yelling ‘get help’, before using me as a projectile to knock everyone over.”

Barton smirked. “I’d pay to see that.”

They heard a screech from the tunnel to their right. Loki couldn’t tell if they were Chitauri or Outriders, but it didn’t matter either way; they were forces of Thanos, coming for the Gauntlet.

“Damn it!” Barton tossed the Gauntlet at Loki before taking out his bow. He fired several arrows and killed several creatures, but more were coming. “Run!”

Loki let a couple of his daggers fly before they both took off down the other tunnel. They didn’t stop running, both turning on occasion to fight off the creatures; Loki threw some more daggers but could only fight with one hand, while Barton took aim with his trick arrows. They hit the walls and exploded.

Both men were sent flying and landed in a puddle.

Footsteps approached, and Nebula appeared.

But Loki took one look at her and knew she wasn’t _their_ Nebula. The way she carried herself, the look in her eyes, the aura that surrounded her…

It all came together in his head. Their Nebula’s network must have synced with the Nebula’s of the past, allowing Thanos to discover their plan. He had sent his own Nebula in the place of theirs, and she had brought Thanos and his armies to the present.

Loki quickly tossed the Gauntlet to Barton (it landed on his chest and he let out an “ow!” in protest) before leaping to his feet and summoning his daggers.

“But…we know her…” Barton protested.

“This isn’t our Nebula,” said Loki.

The Nebula before him smirked, and touched her comm. “Father, I’ve located the Gauntlet. And an old friend.”

“I’ll die before you get the Stones,” Loki threatened.

There was no fight. Backup arrived in the form of their Nebula, and the Gamora from the past, who had been convinced to turn on Thanos. They pled with the other Nebula to help them, but she refused. She nearly killed Gamora, but the present Nebula shot her before she could.

It wasn’t over. The four of them finally made their way out of the rubble to find Thanos assembling his armies, and Rogers standing alone. Thor and Stark were lying on the ground, near defeated.

And then, the portals opened.

First came the Wakandan King and his sister, their army behind them. The Falcon flew through, and with him came the Captain’s friend, Wanda, Groot…

The second-rate appeared through another portal, but if all this was his handiwork, then Loki could hardly call him a second-rate any longer. With him came Rocket’s team, and the spider boy.

The sorcerer’s companion arrived with an army of other sorcerers. Brunnhilde, sat astride Starbuck, appeared with a small army of Asgardians, along with the surviving gladiators from Sakaar. Ravagers on their ships appeared through large portals in the sky. A woman arrived wearing a suit similar to Ant-Man’s. Pepper flew in wearing a suit of her own.

“Yibambe!” the Wakandans chanted, ready for battle.

Behind them, Ant-Man burst out of the rubble, having grown to a gigantic size, and Loki had to admit that he wasn’t a joke now. In his hands were Rocket, Rhodes and Bruce.

With various war cries of all different languages, their army rallied. Loki stood beside his brother and allowed his horned helmet to appear on his head, finally comfortable wearing it again.

“Avengers!” Rogers held out his hand, and Thor’s hammer flew to it (and _of course_ he was worthy, Loki wasn’t surprised at all). He paused, and with his voice filled with tranquil fury, he said, “Assemble.”

They charged.

\---

After cutting down several foes with his daggers, Loki noticed Barton running desperately into the fray with one hand clutching the Gauntlet. Over the comms a plan was formed; they needed to take the Gauntlet back into the past and out of Thanos’s reach, using the machine in the back of Ant-Man’s van. Knowing that Barton would be a target, Loki brought out the last object he’d stolen from Odin’s treasure room five years ago; the fake Gauntlet.

(He never understood _why_ Odin had a fake Gauntlet; it would forever remain a mystery.)

He tossed it across the battlefield, and Ebony Maw caught it with his powers before presenting it to Thanos. But the Titan didn’t even put it on; he knew only by looking at it that it was a fake. He threw it to the ground and crushed it beneath his foot. “Trickster!”

Loki laughed.

It wasn’t long before Maw noticed the real Gauntlet in Barton’s grasp, and went after him. When Barton was cornered, he tossed the Gauntlet to the Wakandan King, who then threw it into the air to the spider boy when Maw gave _him_ trouble.

At which point, Loki decided that Maw needed to die.

When Maw attempted to snatch the Gauntlet from the boy’s hands, Loki blocked his magic and sent it flying right back at him. Maw managed to swerve out of the way in time and turned his angry gaze to Loki.

“You! The Great Titan will make you suffer for your failure, Asgardian!” he snarled, as he lowered himself to the ground.

“Technically, I’m not Asgardian. But I know you don’t care.”

In the end, defeating him was ridiculously easy. Loki was almost disappointed at how anti-climatic it was, but then Maw had always been an overconfident bastard.

He used the oldest trick in the book: left a decoy standing before Maw while he crept around behind him, and stabbed him through the head. Maw died in seconds and fell to the ground.

Loki searched for the Gauntlet again, and saw that it was still in the possession of the spider boy. He was killing enemies left and right with legs that came out the back of his suit, but he was getting overwhelmed. Loki hurried up to him and confused the Outriders by making several decoys of himself, then killed them one by one while they were distracted.

“Hey, thanks, Mr. Loki!” said the boy. “I’m really sorry about attacking you before!”

“Apology accepted.” They kept fighting.

In the distance, Loki noticed Wanda confront Thanos in a rage, and was impressed that she was actually doing some damage. She broke his sword and stripped him of his armour, and even got close to killing him. But he ordered his ship to shoot down at the ground, despite putting his own soldiers at risk, and the battlefield erupted into chaos.

The sorcerers created small force fields for everyone to hide under, and Loki did the same above himself and the spider boy. The boy curled up in a ball under a rock and hugged the Gauntlet to his chest.

Then the ship suddenly started firing at something in the sky.

That something was Danvers. She tore through the ship with ridiculous ease, destroying it in seconds.

Upon being told what was going on, she flew towards Loki and the spider boy. She nodded her head. “Loki.”

“Danvers.”

“Hey,” said the boy in a small voice. “I’m Peter Parker.”

“Hey there, Peter Parker. You got something for me?”

He gave her the Gauntlet without a fuss, and various other female heroes converged around Danvers to help her charge towards the van. Brunnhilde shot Loki a smirk before taking to the skies again.

When Pepper came to collect the boy, Loki turned his attention towards another problem: the great tidal wave of water being held back by the sorcerer.

Loki hurried across the battlefield, cutting down enemies as he went. He came to stand beside the sorcerer before summoning the Casket into his hands, and used it to freeze the wave solid. He barely registered his skin turning blue.

The sorcerer let out a sigh, relieved that he could finally lower his hands. “Took you long enough.”

“I wanted to see you suffer,” said Loki with a smirk.

There was a loud crash, and Loki turned to see Danvers thrown back by the van exploding, curtesy of Thanos.

He tried to get there in order to help, but enemies kept getting in the way. He thought that Danvers would kill Thanos with her strength alone, but the Titan outwitted her; he removed the Power Stone from the Gauntlet and used it to punch her away.

Stark was close by. Loki saw him exchange a meaningful look with the sorcerer, who held up a single finger (he recalled Stark mentioning something the sorcerer said five years ago, something about an endgame). Thanos had the Gauntlet, and Stark threw himself at him in one last desperate attempt to stop him. Unsurprisingly, he was tossed aside.

Thanos held up his hand. “I am inevitable.”

He clicked his fingers.

Loki waited for death to come.

But it didn’t.

It wasn’t a snap. Merely a click.

Thanos looked down at the Gauntlet and saw that the Stones were missing.

Stark held up his hand and revealed a Gauntlet built into his suit. He’d stolen them, right out from under the Titan’s nose. Loki smirked in respect. It was a move worthy of the God of Mischief.

“I am…Iron Man.”

_Snap!_

There was a flash, and then one by one, Thanos’s army turned to dust.

The Mad Titan himself was last to go. He sat down with a look of defeat, and merely waited in silence for his inevitable fate to claim him. Loki watched in satisfaction as his once torturer vanished from the world forever.

It was over. They’d won.

At a cost.

Loki threw off his helmet and hurried towards Stark. Everything his mother taught him about healing flashed through his mind – but by the time he reached the man, he knew none of it would be of any use.

Rhodes was already by his side. There was a huge burn on the side of his face, and his entire arm was caked in black. Loki knelt beside him to examine the man closer, in case there was a slim chance…

“Loki?” Thor had arrived, along with Rogers.

Loki looked up at his brother and shook his head.

He moved aside when the spider boy arrived, desperately pleading for Stark to live. And then Pepper was there; she moved the boy aside and knelt next to her husband, a smile on her face. She told him they would be OK, and that he could rest.

With his friends and family around him, Tony Stark took his last breath.

Loki laid a hand on his brother’s shoulder, and both whispered the funeral rites of their people.

“Anthony Stark, we bid you take your place in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave shall live forever…”

\---

The funeral was held at Stark’s cabin.

It was a joint funeral, for Natasha as well. She had no body to bury or burn.

Stark was cremated, and his remains were set adrift on the lake with his first arc reactor on top.

Loki stood beside his brother, and Brunnhilde stood to his other side. Every hero who had known him was in attendance, even those who had only known him briefly, like the sorcerer and the other Guardians. The spider boy, Peter, was there with his aunt, and cried the most. Another boy was there too; one Stark had befriended a decade ago.

Fury and Hill stood towards the back with Danvers. Neither seemed all that surprised to see Loki on their side.

Secretary Ross paid his respects. The spell Loki had cast on him had only lasted a few hours, and he wasn’t all that angry about it. His daughter, Bruce’s ex-girlfriend, had been a victim of Thanos’s snap. He had dropped his hostilities towards the heroes in his gratitude.

The wake that followed didn’t last long, for most had other duties to attend to. The Guardians wanted to get back into space, after their leader visited the relatives he still had left on Earth.

Loki knew he, Thor and Brunnhilde needed to get back to New Asgard. But first, he had a promise to keep.

He approached Pepper once she was alone. “I promised your husband something, and I wanted to run it by you.”

“And what was it?” she asked.

“He wanted me to teach your daughter the art of mischief,” he said with a grin.

Pepper rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “As long as it doesn’t include stabbing anyone, or any other forms of bodily harm, that’s fine by me.”

Morgan walked up to them with a teddy clutched in her grasp. She’d put on a brave face the entire day, but hadn’t smiled at all.

Loki waved his fingers, and the teddy bear came to life. It gave Morgan a hug before jumping down and dancing in front of her.

And Morgan Stark laughed for the first time in days.

\---

The three of them stood atop of the cliff, looking down upon New Asgard. The small village was filled with happiness and life, and for the first time there was hope for a better future. More homes would have to be built, but the King of Wakanda had promised to help them with anything they needed.

“Your Kingdom, your Majesty,” said Loki. “I know it’s not much, but I put a lot of work into it, and it’s home.”

Brunnhilde smacked his shoulder. “ _You_ put a lot of work into it? I helped!”

Thor chuckled. “Then perhaps you should be the one to enjoy the fruit of your labours, Brother. All my life, I was told that I was going to be King, and only now do I realize that my path doesn’t end with a throne. I was never meant to be King – _you_ were.”

Loki stared at him. Blinked. Continued staring. Thor didn’t erupt into laughter and say he was kidding. The look on his face was sincere.

“You cannot be serious?”

“I am. The throne suits you better than it ever suited me. When I was hiding away from the world, it was you who organized our people and put their needs before your own. It is as I said to you before; you understood what it means to be King far better than I could. And it’s what you’ve always wanted, so…” He gestured to the village. “Your wish is my command.”

Loki was speechless. What he’d always wanted, right in front of him. Gifted to him on a silver platter.

And he’d _earned_ it.

“And I should let you know,” said Brunnhilde, “that Thor has given me permission to smack you around if you misbehave, so don’t get any funny ideas about conquering the rest of Midgard.”

“Oh, and make sure he doesn’t build another big statue of himself!” Thor added. “That thing was ghastly!”

“I was sorting through some issues when I made that,” said Loki. “And we don’t exactly have the gold for it anymore.”

“Do you accept, Brother?”

Shocked as he was, Loki nodded. “I accept. But what about you?”

“I need to find myself. Some friends have offered me a lift.” He pointed over at the Guardians’ ship, and Rocket yelled at him to hurry it up.

Loki had wondered why they hadn’t left yet. “You’re leaving?”

“I’m not abandoning you,” Thor insisted. “I know what you must think, after I left you alone for five years, and maybe I am being selfish, but… I need to find my purpose; find where I belong. And when I’m satisfied, I will return.”

There was still pain in his eyes. If Loki asked him to stay, he knew it would be out of a selfish need to keep his brother close. But that wasn’t fair on Thor. “I understand. Just don’t be gone for too long. And maybe while you’re out there, you can track down Sif. She doesn’t even know what happened to Asgard, and she’ll need a friend.”

“I think I’m in need of an old friend, too,” Thor agreed.

With their final goodbye, they tried to awkwardly shake hands at first, before pulling each other forwards and embracing. Loki held back his tears.

“No knife in the gut?” asked Thor with a smile.

Loki returned it. “I’ll stab you when you get back.”

Thor chuckled, and then all too soon, he was boarding the ship and it was flying away. Loki remained where he was standing until the ship had disappeared completely.

“Right then,” Loki began to turn. “Shall we-” He was cut off when Brunnhilde grabbed his collar, tugged him down and kissed the life out of him.

For the second time that day, he was rendered speechless.

“Nothing?” She smirked. “I thought this was what you wanted?”

He smirked in return. “Since you’ve only shown an interest after I’ve become King officially, I have a feeling you still don’t like me and just want to be Queen.”

She smacked him again, and he laughed.

\---

I cannot be a monster,

I will not be a monster

– “Monster”, _Frozen on Broadway_


End file.
